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Some Comic of Mine 009 by DanShive Some Comic of Mine 009 by DanShive
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Velocitoaster has had a place in my heart for many years now, but this is its first public appearance. The genesis of its creation was as an invention of Amanda's. It would simultaneously show her incredible building capabilities while being one of the most pointless and useless inventions ever.

Velocitoaster may yet see the light of day in an Amanda-related story, but after showing sketches of it to some of my classmates and getting a very positive response, I decided it was high time it saw the light of day.

This "ad" actually has false advertising, however. Velocitoaster is far slower than the ad would have you believe, and it is by no means carnivorous. That just sounded like a hilarious description to me, and 40 mph is close to what I've heard a top speed for velociraptors would likely have been.

In truth, the Velocitoaster is rather docile and easy to control, in spite of it being scary looking and growling (why Amanda programmed it to growl and roar, I have no idea). Just in case it goes haywire, however, Amanda built the "Velocifork" countermeasure. This is somewhat counterintuitive, as Velocitoaster is only theoretically aggressive if it malfunctions in just the right way, while Velocifork is hostile and violent by design. Mad scientists often use somewhat roundabout logic, however.

Oh, and just for the record, Tori was well compensated to assert her dislike for stationary toasters. She actually prefers toasters that stay wherever she chooses to place them, and has no desire to tend to whatever needs a Velocitoaster might have.
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:iconcreodont:
creodont Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2014
Did Amanda actually build this, or did she just stick the toaster from Ghostbusters 2 onto an animatronic dinosaur?
Reply
:iconmisfire33:
Misfire33 Featured By Owner May 3, 2014
Now we just need to put a few of them in a rather failure-prone zoo island and we'll have a franchise!
Reply
:iconmasterofthestorm:
MasteroftheStorm Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014  Hobbyist
I bought one. It scares the crud out of my cat.
Reply
:iconj0efelix:
j0efelix Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013
she destroyed all the silverware in the house!..... clever Girl.
Reply
:iconblackacehero:
blackacehero Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Some one should make this that would be awsome I could add it to my collection of pointless crap I bought
Reply
:iconbardian1:
bardian1 Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Student Digital Artist
I just have to ask, when was the last time anyone saw a toaster that looked like the classic cartoon toaster?
Reply
:icondanshive:
DanShive Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2013
I never see them in anyone's homes, but I see them in stores regularly. You can totally buy them. I don't know who's buying them, but they apparently exist.
Reply
:iconvector-master:
Vector-Master Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012
MY GOD, i want one. I want one NOW.
Reply
:iconerictheblue:
erictheblue Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012
this made me think of a "schlock mercenary" story where they had aquired a malfunctioning "fabber" (automated factory) and were making it build toasters...
the story starts here: [link]
Reply
:iconninjaraptor6:
Ninjaraptor6 Featured By Owner May 5, 2012
I'll take two. No, four. And I want to program them to be ninjas.

Toast-making-ninja-velociraptor-robots. That fly.
Reply
:iconangellus-socios:
Angellus-Socios Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I know what I want for Christmas. =D
Reply
:iconangellus-socios:
Angellus-Socios Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I know what I want fo Christmas. =D
Reply
:iconmind-not-found:
mind-not-found Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2011
i want one~ i shall use it chase the alligators in my neighborhood and then devour its brains with raspberry jelly
Reply
:iconassacura:
Assacura Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2011  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Hee, I find this too funny, if even for my own personal reasons.
Reply
:iconerictheblue:
erictheblue Featured By Owner May 18, 2011
this reminds of of several "schlock mercenary" cartoons involving toasters: start with [link]
and read the next few. very funny!
Reply
:iconkerevon:
Kerevon Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2011
..................(o-0)



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Reply
:iconmrsnubeh:
mrsnubeh Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2011
sounds like an excellent idea
Reply
:iconzeldafan21:
zeldafan21 Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2010
dude you need to do more of these xD there so funny
Reply
:iconkaspike:
kaSpike Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2010
Where do I send to get one of those?
Reply
:iconwastelandsofthemind:
wastelandsofthemind Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2010  Student Writer
I demand more of these!
Reply
:iconashrazan:
Ashrazan Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2010
I love it, the toast at the end is the best part.
Reply
:icondragon8writer:
dragon8writer Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2009
Love it.

Okay, i love all of them - some more than this one!

but this was quicker than posting "love it" on every single one of them.
Reply
:iconanti-man9:
anti-man9 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2009  Student Digital Artist
I AGREE!!!.
Reply
:icondragon8writer:
dragon8writer Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2009
yay for agreement! ((particularly on this subject - if we were talking about the destruction of the world or something, i'm not so sure it's a good thing.))
Reply
:iconanti-man9:
anti-man9 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2009  Student Digital Artist
Lmao!
Reply
:icondragon8writer:
dragon8writer Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2009
Always good to make someone laugh when it comes to Dan Shive's work. :D

Though he might not enjoy it if we put too much on HIS deviation instead of one of ours....
Reply
:icongangwarlord:
GangWarlord Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Should've had Billy Mays. But great comic strip nonetheless. 8-)
Reply
:iconmoodycow210:
Moodycow210 Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2009  Student General Artist
yay! toaster!!!
me wants :D
Reply
:iconmadugongmaria:
madugongmaria Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2008  Professional General Artist
LOL. such a ferocious looking guy to just say ker-chunk :D
Reply
:iconscatmanfan:
scatmanfan Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2008
Ker-Chunk.
Reply
:iconjoaniedark:
joaniedark Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2008
That...is one amazing toaster
Reply
:iconpikamario99:
pikamario99 Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2008
I want a Velocitoaster.

No, I NEED a Velovitoaster!
Reply
:iconnortolim:
Nortolim Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2008
Velocitoaster! for the win! srsly, where did you come up with them, and where can i get one?
Reply
:iconyayo01:
Yayo01 Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
ROTFL, The last panel what makes it more funny XD
Reply
:iconchaossepher:
ChaosSepher Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2008
Reminds me of the Mousers from Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles, only bigger and more toast. XD
Reply
:icondarkmoonsylph:
DarkMoonSylph Featured By Owner May 31, 2008
OMG you did Velocitoaster? holy crap one of my friends showed me this a while ago and it has been a random subject ever since!
Reply
:icongruntie0052:
gruntie0052 Featured By Owner May 20, 2008  Student Traditional Artist
JESUS
Reply
:iconkahbn:
kahbn Featured By Owner May 4, 2008
I'll take it! I'll take twelve! I shall call him... eddy!
Reply
:iconravenno-kun:
Ravenno-kun Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2008
Velocibread? Velocibutter?
Reply
:iconnvraptor08:
NVraptor08 Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2008
This is awesome.
Reply
:iconkoruptid:
koruptid Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2008   Photographer
Where can I buy these wonderful pieces of machinery? more importantly, how long until they use the growth ray on this and we see it stomping around tokyo?
Reply
:iconthe-ethereal-man:
the-ethereal-man Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2008
I see a whole range of Jurassic themed kitchen appliances coming.
Reply
:iconipixelated:
iPixelated Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2008
Try sending one to Randall Munroe and see what happens.
Reply
:iconfredgregjoe:
Fredgregjoe Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2008
I can certain say, I was not expecting that.
Reply
:iconcabbyhat:
CabbyHat Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2008
I want one.
But you know what I want to see? Velocitoaster vs. the Sad Sad Toaster Made of Glass.
Reply
:iconmegadude337:
Megadude337 Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2008
Movie idea: Velocitoaster V.S. Bunny Dragon
Reply
:iconpharmmajor:
pharmmajor Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2008
Brilliant. Utterly brilliant.
Reply
:icongamskee:
Gamskee Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2008
That is awesomely off the wall.
Reply
:iconchronoscat:
ChronosCat Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
I thought for sure the punchline was going to be something along the lines of "How about a mobile toaster that runs around and burns your toast?"
Reply
:iconayas-shadow:
ayas-shadow Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2008
I like it. It's amusing, and I ADORE The velocitoaster. ^-^
Reply
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March 30, 2008
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